Community mourns loss of Ukrainian man adopted in Palmyra killed fighting for homeland

• By Ann Rejarat/LNP | LancasterOnline

A cover of Jo Dee Messina’s “Heaven Was Needing a Hero” played through the speakers of Palmyra Grace Church, the singer’s voice carrying over a hushed chorus of conversation at the memorial service for Alex “Sasha” Coburn.

About 300 people gathered on a November afternoon to mourn with Alex’s parents, Patricia and Brian Coburn, and other members of the Coburn family, who stood near the stage dressed in blue and yellow, the colors of Ukraine.

Alex, 23, was adopted from Ukraine by the Coburns when he was a teenager, and had returned to his home region in fall 2021 to do missionary work, leaving behind his parents and five American siblings — four brothers and a sister.

He ended up enlisting with the Ukrainian military to help fight against Russia’s invasion; in late September, the Coburns received word that Alex was killed by a sniper in enemy-held territory, where his body remains.

During his time in Ukraine, Alex and his parents would text as a group, and a video at the memorial showed screenshots of their conversations, telling the story of his final months.

In the texts, Alex wished Patricia a Happy Mother’s Day. He encouraged his parents to trust in God’s will and assured them he was where he wanted to be. They exchanged many I love yous.

He reported on everyday things, like his sleeping arrangements and diet (“I am not having pizza as much as I like”), and harsher realities, like air raids and rocket strikes (“Didn’t sleep well”).

And then there was this: “I lost count of how many times I was on the edge of death.”

A home in America

Alex first came to Palmyra in summer 2015 when he was 15 years old as part of Guglielmo’s Hope, a program that brings orphaned children from around the world to the United States.

At age 6, Alex’s father was killed, and his mother was not able to care for all of her six children. He was adopted by the Coburn family on June 15, 2016. The adoption took 10 months to complete and involved three trips to Ukraine.

At first, Alex did not want to come to the United States, according to his mother, but his friends in Ukraine convinced him it would be an excellent opportunity. After meeting the Coburns, he decided to make his home with them.

The transition to life in America was not easy for Alex. At first, he had to talk to his family through an online translator. He attended music, art and English classes at Palmyra High School in addition to being home schooled. He participated on the Palmyra High soccer and wrestling teams.

Alex picked up work at places like Amazon and Hersheypark. He worked out at 5 Stones Fight Club in Annville, volunteered with the Palmyra fire company and was an active member of the Palmyra Grace youth group.

After attending a conference in Indiana with his church youth group, Alex decided to become a missionary. In fall 2021, Alex spent a few months in the nation of Georgia working as a missionary for Youth With a Mission, then he returned to Ukraine.

At the time, Russia was amassing military troops along the Ukraine’s border and supporting pro-Russia separatists in eastern portions of the country.

Defending his homeland

Miles Vining, an emergency medical technician and former Marine infantryman who was on the ground with Alex in Ukraine, took the podium at the memorial service. He slid off his gray suit coat, flipped it inside out and draped it over the podium, revealing a blue and yellow Ukrainian flag stitched into the lining.

Vining knew Alex from working with him in 2022 on a team of volunteer medics and for the news agency Newsmax, for which Alex worked as a translator.

On Feb. 24, 2022, the morning Russia launched its full-scale invation, the Newsmax team was stationed at the Hilton Hotel in Ukraine’s capital, Kyiv, Vining recalled. He had received a phone call advising him to set up cameras outside.

“At about five in the morning, I came down from the hotel and started setting up the camera and we started hearing cruise missiles impacting across the city,” Vining said.

Intelligence agencies and experts were claiming Kyiv would soon fall, and Vining’s group decided to leave the city.

“But what about Kyiv?” Vining recalled Alex asking.

Vining’s team explained to Alex the realities of the situation and the anticipated outcome: Kyiv would be overrun. Still, Alex wanted to stay, Vining said.

Alex enlisted in the infantry of Ukraine’s Air Assault Forces and was rose to the rank of sergeant.

His mother, Patricia, received a message from Alex’s biological brother over Facebook messenger on Sept. 30. The family sent the message to a translator, and on Oct. 2 they learned their son had died.

Losing a son

When he came to the United States nearly a decade ago, it didn’t take long for Alex to become fully integrated into the Coburn family. In photos with her other children, he blended right in.

In interviews prior to the service, Patricia and Brian talked about their son’s time in the Ukrainian military and the pain they feel.

“It was quite shocking,” Patricia said. “Obviously, when we found out we had been praying really hard for his safety, and it’s just … it was hard.”

In messages Alex sent home through Facebook messenger, he tended to be more forthcoming with his father than his mother about the realities of war, so as not to frighten her.

“He just gave me the fluff because he knew my heart couldn’t take it,” Patricia said.

The Coburns avoided watching the news because they found it too hard to hear the stories coming out of Ukraine. As of Sept. 10, the United Nations had recorded more than 27,000 civilian casualties in the conflict — 9,614 killed and 17,535 injured.

A New York Times report in August, citing an unnamed U.S. official, estimated Ukrainian troop deaths to be close to 70,000, with more than 100,000 wounded. Numbers are hard to track on both sides because Moscow is believed to routinely undercount its war dead and injured, and Kyiv does not disclose official figures.

Brian noted his son’s courage. His life in America was a “golden ticket” out of harm’s way, yet he still chose to go back and fight.

He recounted one of the last phone calls he had with Alex. Talk of the war’s hardships yielded to more intimate confessions, and Alex said something Brian will never forget.

“One of the last things he said,” Brian recalled, “was he never knew love until … he was with our family.”

Saying goodbye

Inside Palmyra Grace church, snapshots from Alex’s life were displayed across the front of the stage: a portrait of him kissing the cheek of a woman he met in Ukraine whom he planned to marry, collages on posterboard of times spent with family and friends, a scrapbook of his journey to adoption and a portrait of Alex in his military uniform with a butterfly perched on an outstretched finger.

Friends and family were treated to two of Alex’s favorite foods: borscht, a traditional Eastern European beet soup the Coburn family made for Alex once a month, and Costco pizza.

Those who spoke about Alex described a young man who loved God, his family and his home country. A man dedicated to service, who helped at any opportunity. Who gave warm hugs, wore a big smile and was a quick study with new things — except for driving, which his father laughed about. He was shocked when Alex passed the test to get a driver’s license.

His mother was among those who spoke. Patricia had always believed Alex would stay in Ukraine when the war ended, and she had been looking forward to getting to visit him there someday, to see the family he would surely have and her future grandchildren.

At the podium, she read a letter she’d written to her son, describing the monthslong journey of adopting him, how anxiously they awaited his arrival, and the pain of missing him now and all of the milestones they would never share together.

“You’re in heaven now, and this time you’ll have to wait for us to come to you.”