Couple donates items to York Hospital for those going through losing a baby

Eleven months ago this Monday was a blur for Amy and Blake Gross who went in to deliver a baby at York Hospital. Allison Clair Gross was stillborn and the family had only about five hours to spend with her before having to say goodbye.  

Allison had big, perfect feet and her life mattered, her Manchester Township mom said. She would have been the couple’s first child.  

In her memory, the family made a donation to the hospital on Wednesday of items for couples that are going through the same thing including a CuddleCot, 20 bears and bunnies that record heartbeats, a Moses basket and 20 hand and feet mold kits.

Blake and Amy Gross raised funds to purchase a CuddleCot via their fundraising websites. The medical device is basically a cooler, allowing families more time with their babies who have died, something the Gross family wish they had had. It’s meant to preserve the baby’s body for a few more hours, stalling discoloration a bit.  

Not many hospitals in the U.S. have one, though it’s more popular in Europe, Blake Gross said. They think there are about seven CuddleCots in Pennsylvania, one also being in Harrisburg, and they’re working to donate more.  

There’s never enough time, but the hospital encourages families to spend as much time as possible and they try to give them anything and everything tangible, said Amanda Delridge, RN in the labor and delivery unit at York Hospital. The bears and bunnies donated are an example, where the family can record the baby’s heartbeat and then squeeze the stuffed animal’s belly to hear it whenever they like.  

The CuddleCot was the most expensive item donated, just over $3,000. The other items, like the basket that holds the CuddleCot, all totaled about $4,000. The next hospital the couple hopes to donate to is Hershey Medical Center.  

“What we went through was devastating … heartbreaking … we think about it every day,” Blake Gross said. Any extra minutes or hours this device gives couples that are grieving matters because that’s the only time they’re going to have with that baby, he said.  

The couple had no idea what to do, they felt numb and could only think about having lost a baby, but the hospital guided them and also had a professional volunteer photographer from Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep come to take photos, they said. It’s something Blake and Amy are very grateful for.  

They still struggle with why Allison died, and a lot of times doctors and nurses don’t know why stillbirths happen, even after an autopsy, said RN Jill Royer.

It’s much more common than people realize, Amy said, and the subject is sort of taboo in the U.S. She hopes to change that and wants people to know that it’s OK to talk about it.  

The losses at hospitals are more than just stillbirths, they also include babies who are pre-viable, unable to live outside the womb or born premature.  

“Being stuck on the why is one of the worst things you can do,” Delridge said.  

The couple was excited to have a child and it was gone in an instant — instead of leaving with a baby, they left with a box, the couple said. When Amy Gross thinks about it, she said she gets emotional and breaks down. Being back in the hospital was hard for her, seeing balloons that say “it’s a girl!” or “it’s a boy!”  

But it’s therapeutic to be able to talk about Allison and be able to share her story with everybody. Amy and Blake Gross hope the CuddleCot will give the gift of time to people. They’re grateful to everyone that has donated.  

Now, the couple finds themselves pretty much where they were this time last year — expecting a baby just nine days after what was supposed to be Allison’s due date last year in June. So far, everything is going well and they’ll be going to York Hospital to deliver.  

“We’re hoping Allison is looking down on her little sister, keeping her safe,” Amy Gross said.

To help

To donate or follow the Gross’ story, visit their giveforward page.  

For more information about CuddleCots, visit www.Flexmort.com

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This article comes to us through a partnership between the York Daily Record and WITF.